👽 Straight Oughta Space — Because Earth Is, Frankly, Overrated
🙎♂️ YOU didn’t ask to be born on this planet 🌍
So, why settle when you could be wearing a shirt that declares your allegiance to the stars ⋆˙⟡
Whether you’re PLOTTING YOUR ESCAPE 🚀
via wormhole, The "Straight Oughta Space" shirt is your wearable boarding pass to anywhere but here.
🎡 Lightweight and breathable. it’s perfect for festival 🤘 weekends stargazing marathons, or lying in bed wondering if the moon misses you 🥺
🛸 The Colors? like an endless void and tones that feel like soft planetary dust.
🪩 The Design? Sober folks will say, “Cool shirt.” The enlightened 🔮 they'll nod knowingly.
👽 Fabric From Another Planet
👕 So Soft It Feels Illegal in At Least Three Dimensions 🛸
Made from Bella+Canvas supersoft 🧸 fabric (harvested from ethically-sourced space clouds), this shirt hugs your body like a friendly spirit guiding you through your trip.
🧘 It’s lightweight, breathable, and ideal for everything from music festivals to mind-melting meditation in your backyard hammock.
*Solid colors are 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton
🌟 What does that Mean?
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100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton is the creme de la creme of cotton.
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Airlume is a special process where the cotton is combed to remove any imperfections, making it ultra-soft and smooth.
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It's then ring-spun, which means the fibers are twisted into a fine, silky yarn that’s stronger and softer than regular cotton.
EU GPSR Product Information:
- Manufacturer contact information
- Name: I Was Abducted By Aliens
- Email: contact@support.iwasabductedbyaliens.shop
- Postal address: PO Box 5696 Santa Monica, CA 90405
- Additional information: This product is made for adults. Meets the lead and phthalates level requirements. 2 year warranty in EEA and UK
🌈 Sizing Info for All Lifeforms
View Intergalactic Size Chart Available Here
🌠 Available in sizes XS to 5XL
Perfect For The Following Earthlings
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Folks who treat lava lamps like spiritual advisors
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People who’ve had deep conversations with their houseplants
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Anyone who thinks crop circles are a form of flirty alien DMs
🚨 Pro tip from the 9th dimension: Check the sizing chart before you order. We want your aura to be aligned, not your armpits to be restricted.
👆 Size up if you plan on achieving a baggy enlightenment in layers.
👇 Size down if you're trying to feel like a space burrito wrapped in confidence.
No matter your orbit, or gravitational pull — this shirt's got the range to fit your frequency. ✨
🚀 Galactic Quality Guarantee
✨ Wash cold, dry low, ascend always.
Reality is optional, but laundry instructions aren’t 🔮 Treat your threads like you treat your vibrations—gentle and elevated 🧘🏻
Listen, we didn’t just slap ink on fabric and call it a day. This shirt is made by beings (probably human, possibly 👽) who believe in interstellar durability 🙏🏽
💥 Our Galactic Promise
We stand by our quality. If your shirt arrives looking like it went through a black hole 🌌 backwards - smudged print, cosmic glitches, alien bite marks - we’ve got your back.
Just send us proof and we’ll either:
🛸 Beam you a replacement -- OR
💸 Refund your Earth credits
But Wait... There’s Cosmic Fine Print:
Every product is made just for you 🤏
That means:
☄️ No returns for wrong sizes!
💀 No returns for buyer’s remorse!
So check the sizing chart like your third eye depends on it 👁️
👽 Final Transmission
Wether you're vibing on Venus 🪐 or just zoning out in your room. Your intergalactic apparel is built to hug your divine self ۞
And if the universe glitches and sends you the wrong version? We’ll fix it, no abduction required.
👽 Straight Oughta Space — Because Earth Is, Frankly, Overrated Size Guide
| Size label | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
|
XS
|
27
|
16 1/2
|
|
S
|
28
|
18
|
|
M
|
29
|
20
|
|
L
|
30
|
22
|
|
XL
|
31
|
24
|
|
2XL
|
32
|
26
|
|
3XL
|
33
|
28
|
|
4XL
|
34
|
30
|
|
5XL
|
35
|
32
|